As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. 4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. –Ephesians 2:1-10 NIV
It would be silly if someone handed you a gift and you responded, “Let me pay you for it.” The proper thing to do is to graciously receive it and say, “Thank you!” When a gift is freely given to you for whatever reason or occasion, you should not feel as though strings are attached, what the giver might want in return, feel obligated to buy them something, or do something to compensate for the gift they gave you.Spiritually, a similar thing takes place when it comes to God’s gracious gift of salvation. Some people think that if they behave good enough, they’ll make their way into Heaven.Others think they can pay their way in by doing good, some even think that God is all loving and He’ll allow anyone in, no matter what. Truthfully, all these avenues, and others like them, can never compensate for God’s only way into Heaven, which is to believe in Christ Jesus. Thus, all Christians are saved by grace through faith in Jesus and by the works He accomplished on the Cross.In John 6:28, a group of people told Jesus that they wanted to perform God’s work and asked Him what they should do. Jesus simply told them, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent” (John 6:29 NIV). If works is involved, may it be something like this: Worship God, Obey His word, Reach out and share Jesus with others, and Know that Salvation is a gift of grace given to you by God through faith in Christ.
Ask God to help you understand that His love for you in not transactional.
He loves you, no matter what. Thank God for His unending grace.